The Medivac mission that I participated in tonight was, without exception, one of the most incredible experiences of my life. Whereas my first mission was transferring wounded soldiers from Afghanistan to Germany for further recovery, tonight I was with a group of volunteers that met the C-130 on the flightline to transfer soldiers who had literally just been wounded. Their injuries had just been inflicted and they were being transported from the frontlines to the Bagram base hospital to be stabilized. Fortunately, I am not faint of heart when it comes to blood or injuries, but it is truly difficult to even describe the experience of carrying a litter with a 250 lb man wrapped in bandages and blankets who has lost his hand, or who's face has been brutalized or who has a metal device holding his arm in place. You want to cry for them and hold their hand and tell them everything will be alright or you realize that you can't think of anything to say at all because things are so bad that you can't bring yourself to lie or to speak the truth. I always tried to smile at them, since my smile is sort of my default expression but somehow even smiling seems cruel. Does your smile reassure them? Or does it mock the tragedy of the situation? I really don't know... to be honest, I'm still trying to make sense of what I've just seen and to sort through the onslaught of different emotions I feel...